104 YEAR OLD SAYS TIME TO GO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with people first...then business Ran Right Realty BRE Agent 636943

I like to read just about anything and manage to gobble-up quite a bit week to week as well as daily too. I remember speaking with a woman who loved to read making a comment that I couldn't appreciate at the time but do now. She said you can only read so much and then you...

YOU GET TIRED

I am there now. I read mid-mornings and like reading before bed. Night reading sets me up for beddy-bye no matter how good the books are. I usually have 3-5 books at the bedside which helps to extend reading time but at some point my eyes say different, the brain agrees & sleep has the last word. I give in & off I go

DRIVE

Life does something similar as well. We pay no attention to our drive when we are using it no more than the attention paid to a tooth that doesn't hurt. But when the drive is mitigated or that tooth aches we take note. So it was/is with this man who I read about who lives in Switzerland. He wants to die and he is not ill either

HE SAYS

He has lived a full life. Has had children and grandchildren and was a professor. In fact, he kept working on campus until 100-101 until they asked him to move for liability reasons. They said he was too frail and may trip and fall. He left and put his energy into some other part time activity. However that declined as well

TIME TO REFLECT?

One day he found himself with nothing to do so to speak and was bothered by it. During this time, he fell at home and laid in the same spot for two days until found. He realized that it was time to go. He based his decision on quality of life. He no longer lived but existed and he considered that tedious and tiring

FLIGHT OUT

Apparently they have a law against suicide so he is planning to fly to another country where he can apply for end of life assistance. Someone set-up a go fund me account and enough money was raised to fly this man first class to this destination. At that point, where it is legal, they will set him up for his final journey

QUALITY vs QUANTITY

I was able to relate to not being able to read for hours (my favorite) but instead for a limited time. However, I cannot imagine what it is like to be 100 years old and whatever comes with that. But I do respect the quantity of life versus the quality of life dynamics. Troubling for me is the thought of taking ones life. 

RESPECT REALITY

I spoke with another man who has a relative who is suffering in a wheel chair and oxygen and sits in a living room all day without change or activity who is also quite old. Again, I cannot fathom or relate but hear and understand to a degree or point. I realize that there is no substitute for experience. I empathize

NEGOTIATE?

Have you noticed that we all must have something to do? This is the nature of our creation and it is strong. Supporting this is the human body designed for motion and challenges. Failure to live your potential or have it diminished compromises our very existence. This subject demands respect. It wont negotiate either

FREEZE ME

I once talked with another older fellow and our conversation ended up in this category. We made light of it even fun suggesting to go out swinging instead of otherwise. We both agreed that going unto a mountain environment and freezing to death is preferable to just melting away. I remarked a what if scenario...

BEAR WITH ME?

A bear comes along, is hungry, wants a snack and wont let us get to the cold weather? A gun is necessary not to use on ourselves but to punish or offset the poor bears plans. Then again, that assumes we see it coming and can react. We both started laughing. The sobering thought was we could go no further with this

PROCRASTINATE THIS?

I realize this subject is not a enthusiastic one. It is not even on a list of conversations to have but whether we accept it or not, we all journey toward this some better than others but all guaranteed to visit with it one way or another. For now, we can even stop reading this post using our procrastination powers....

THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERYTHING

Whether you are Indiana Jones on a quest who slips up & doesn't come back or 007 who pushed the envelope a little too far and is replaced by 008 or a soldier who throws himself on a grenade to save others an exit is in the works. When, where, how who or what remains to be seen. Everything has its time

EXIT STORY

My wife took care of her elderly neighbor who wanted so much to die at home watching the birds, wildlife and the comfort of her routine. They made the rounds together until she did less & less & then she started having dreams about her sisters who passed before her. She wanted to visit with them she often said...

LAST REQUEST

One day, she couldn't get up. She laid in bed, speaking softly with Lucy my wife requesting to leave and Lucy gently said go if you must. It's okay. Its allowed and other comforting, reassuring words of this type. The woman listened, stared and smiled and then said these last words: I love you Lucy and passed on.

EPILOGUE

When the ambulance came to transport her body the man who was handling the stretcher remarked how peaceful she looked. When Lucy told her story about her dying words of  I LOVE YOU LUCY, the man understood. It was about love and it has no bounds here or elsewhere

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Tags:
quality of life
love
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courage
reflection
death
dying
growing old
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Rainmaker
3,549,307
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I have no idea of the last book I read or tried o read...No time in my life

May 04, 2018 08:31 PM #1
Rainmaker
2,670,749
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Richie what a deep and thoughtful post. Not a favorite subject for most people to read about not alone talk about. In light of the fact that we are in sales this subject can be sad or even depressing to many people... now with that said let me change the subject I am an avid reader, but blogging and commenting often gets in the way....happy reading, Endre

May 04, 2018 09:24 PM #2
Rainmaker
1,158,482
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

I can totally understand being tired and done with life and just wanting it to be done. Life is exciting while we are doing, pursuing, creating, challenging, enjoying, sharing, etc. If we were just sitting in a chair all day doing nothing, it would not be the same. 

I too am finding it challenging to read in the evenings, although if I can sneak some time in to read during the day I do much better. But me and a book at bedtime equals zzzzzzz.

May 05, 2018 03:08 AM #3
Rainmaker
2,964,467
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Richie. What a poignant and inspirational post this is. Lucy is special and you are lucky.

May 05, 2018 04:14 AM #4
Rainmaker
2,346,851
Nina Hollander
RE/MAX Executive | Charlotte, NC - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Good morning, Richie... your post really touched me. I've several times experienced death of people close to me, including my mother, who at a certain point said "enough was enough." It's a decision that one can only make for oneself.

May 05, 2018 04:53 AM #5
Rainmaker
2,258,101
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

William Feela ...I am reminded of the "so much to do & so little time" statement

Endre Barath, Jr. ...I have found it takes a form of courage just to address this

Kat Palmiotti ...your lovely, down to earth comment stands thank you Kat

Sheila Anderson ...I continue to enjoy, life, and Lucy until I cannot thank you

Nina Hollander ...life is such a privilege and we thank the life-giver by living it well & good. Our course to steer by? Humility & gratitude. Steady as she goes

May 05, 2018 08:30 AM #6
Rainer
292,886
Raymond Denton
Wholesale Capital Corporation - Irvine, CA
Shady Canyon Homes

That one was a tear jerker, Richie.

May 05, 2018 02:03 PM #7
Rainmaker
1,379,304
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
your real estate writer

I've read before about people needing permission to let go - it's wonderful that your wife was there with her friend to give her that permission.

Life without having something to do would be horrible - and life without reading would be torture.

May 05, 2018 02:44 PM #8
Rainmaker
2,258,101
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Raymond Denton ...let the tears fall where they may...

Hello Marte Cliff ...we all share similars journeys but unique unto ourselves

May 05, 2018 03:41 PM #9
Rainmaker
1,711,097
Ginny Gorman
RI Real Estate Services ~ 401-529-7849~ RI Waterfront Real Estate - North Kingstown, RI
Homes for Sale in North Kingstown RI and beyond

Richie,  this is more than a touching & humbling story...it is the truth in most end of lives as I deal with many elderly who want to go & feel inhibited by our laws.  Faith keeps many from taking pills or ending their life with assistance...I think there are many who will not take drugs to ease their horrible pain too...I have no answers but always said I will be asked to be set adrift in the ocean to meet my maker.  Thank you & Lucy for sharing...what a wonderful wife you have.

May 06, 2018 04:53 AM #10
Rainmaker
2,258,101
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hello there Ginny Gorman ...A friend of mine just had a burial at sea for someone who loved it. Being set adrift letting "come what may" as you say is fascinating. Thank you for sharing this awkward subject matter ahead of its time....Best to you G.G.

May 06, 2018 06:37 AM #11
Rainmaker
1,497,420
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Richie - getting old does not happen the same for everyone.  I certainly can empathize with those stories as well.

May 08, 2018 06:16 AM #12
Rainmaker
2,258,101
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hello Grant Schneider ...we all have our path ...to be sure Grant

May 08, 2018 07:46 AM #13
Rainmaker
1,692,624
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Dear Richie Alan Naggar - I have often thought of you as a preacher who illustrates the hard and soft parts of life that many don't understand. Maybe, it's because people don't want to think about death and sorrow. But the truth is, anyone who lives, will die. How and why, that's the question. So we stay busy, thinking up ways to stay awake, be useful, remain active.... But there comes a time when people do get tired.

This post of yours is a topic I can understand and appreciate. I was thankful to read comments by Kat Palmiotti and Nina Hollander too. Life lessons are very powerful.

Switzerland is a beautiful place, the feelings that I get when I am there are so different than America. Being born in Chicago, the hard part of the city with noise and constant violence always made me feel restless, until I was able to move away and compare the difference. That's the same way I feel about Switzerland and the people who live there. There, I saw mountains, hiked many trails, climbed up and down many tough steps and slopes. I saw people of all ages. Malls are not their thing. The old man of 100+ is right, life is about quality and not quantity.

As for Lucy, she gave your wife a gift. I think you know my spouse was given the death sentence with an expectation of living 24-hours or less. He was 36 at the time and it was devastating news. He fought back and I was there every second of his remaining days on earth. He lived for 3 1/2 months. It was the hardest-best time for the two of us. I learned a lot and we learned how to live with quality for each extra day. 

For me, there came a day when his pain was greater than anything he ever knew. We were together at the hospital and the doctor came in to check on him. He asked me to step outside the room with him, so I did. The doctor said, why are you making his life so painful, don't you know he is only surviving because of you? Why is it so hard, for you to let go?

The doctor slipped away and after falling to my knees and crying profusely onto the cold and chilling floors, I felt a something inside, I can't describe it, but it gave me the courage to stand up, blow my nose, go back inside the room, and say what I needed to say. All I can say is, it was enough for him to blink with his eyes and give me a slight smile. Then he passed away. Within seconds, all that pain was washed away from his face that looked to be about 80 back to a young and healthy man. It was very peaceful... And that's all I can say.

 

May 09, 2018 09:20 AM #14
Rainmaker
2,346,851
Nina Hollander
RE/MAX Executive | Charlotte, NC - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Patricia Feager ~ now you made me cry, Patricia! 

May 09, 2018 09:31 AM #15
Rainmaker
2,258,101
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

 Patricia Feager ...you are a wealthy woman where it counts. Nina Hollander and Kat Palmiotti share hearts in common....To all heartfelt ladies...well-done

May 09, 2018 11:11 AM #16
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