Ten Things To Consider Before Pummeling Your Traitor Client

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

 

 

Ten Things To Consider Before Pummeling Your Traitor Client

 

A Tongue-In-Cheek Analysis of the Desire For Revenge

 

Scenario: So a client suddenly decided to place his offer directly through a young and hot listing agent he met last night at Bar One, even though he has been working with another agent for 3 months. She of course promised a deal he couldn't refuse. And dessert, too. As a public service, I will try my best to give you reasons why he should not be stripped naked and mounted to a car as a hood ornament. (Any resemblance to those living or soon not-to-be is strictly coincidental.)

 

1.  You could get your clothes dirty.

Why mess up those new Pradas just because you’re angry?  Okay, maybe you could sacrifice one shoe – I’ll agree to that.  Let's be honest - I might even sacrifice a Chanel suit. Okay, forget this one. A good pummeling of said traitor would take the sting out of escalating wardrobe costs. I'll see if I can come up with a better reason not to tan his hide. Let's try again: 

  1. Other clients might witness the kerfuffle.

Well, maybe they won't, I'm thinking. First they must know what a kerfuffle is. And if you yell, “You kicked my crippled puppy!” while decking your client, sympathy is likely to fall in your direction.  So strike this one as a deterrent, too. Moving on... 

  1. Your client is jacking you out of a commission, not having an affair with your spouse.

Okay, I see the weakness of this reason to restrain oneself.  Many of us would rather trade the spouse in for the commission. Let me try again.  

  1. Errors and Omissions Insurance may not cover fisticuffs.

But if you can’t prove it, it didn’t happen, right? Just ask all our politicians. Cancel this one, too. Hold on -  I’ve got this...      

  1. You could sustain injury.

You must admit, this is a good reason to restrain oneself.  But not perfect…because ideally you could put fire ants in the traitor’s Fruit of the Looms without getting hurt. Hmmmm…I’m still thinking. Give me a sec. Okay, I thought of a good reason: 

  1. What if their new deal falls out of escrow and then the turncoat comes back to you?

So maybe one should wait until all contingencies are lifted before putting a pillowcase over the perpetrator’s head and dragging him off to a spa that specializes in Tabasco colonics? This is a good reason to hesitate, but I’m not sure this is reason enough to let the traitor off the hook completely. Still ruminating...            

  1.  Your satisfaction will only be short-lived.

One could say the same thing about intimate relations, but that never stopped anyone. Okay, so this was not a good rationale either. Give me a break, folks – I’m still working here. 

  1.  One could lose one’s license. 

Okay, I finally found a good reason to forego payback.  But on second thought, for those ready to retire, the more satisfying idea of payback still looms as a possibility.  Go seniors – do it for us! 

  1. Revenge is bad.

True that. But then again, scholars say “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” So why not at least smack him with a bag of ice cubes? 

10. Clients are like husbands, they often come back when the excitement of something new wears off.

Well thank you, Jennifer Aniston! Maybe you and Brad Pitt can pay my mortgage while I wait for that to happen. In the meantime, I’m going rogue. I tried my best to find reasons not to deck the time-sucking lothario, but I see no reason for mercy. Hey, Benedict Arnold - hang on to your Fruit of  the Looms. I’ll see you at Bar One!

 

 

(This is satire, folks, and not intended to promote dust-ups. So please sheathe your darts.)

 

GWEN BANTA - Sotheby's Global Advisor – China  - http://www.GwenBanta.com

Visit my Asian Outreach Site at: www.EastWestRealEstateSpecialists.com 

NEW VIDEO: JUNE LAKE LOG ESTATE - $11,900,000  

 

*DRE # 01362887         

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  1. Ricardo Romero 02/22/2018 09:54 AM
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Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Kezie Odunukwe, it probably happens even more than we know. But it seems we all agree - good-bye and good riddance!

Feb 22, 2018 03:07 PM #75
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Dana Hollish Hill, I am so glad you had a laugh. That's what we all need to keep our sanity in real estate!

Feb 22, 2018 03:08 PM #76
Rainmaker
416,069
Bruce Kunz
C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100 - Howell, NJ
REALTOR®, Brick & Howell NJ Homes for Sale

Thanks, Gwen Banta. This certainly is a hilarious way to inject a realistic view of ideas that would otherwise be very tempting at the least!

Thank you for sharing your wonderful wit! Keep it coming!
Bruce

 

Feb 22, 2018 03:31 PM #77
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bruce Kunz, I am so glad you enjoyed the post. It’s very rewarding to know that I was able to put a smile on your face. 

Feb 22, 2018 03:34 PM #78
Ambassador
1,188,613
Amanda Christiansen
Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843 - Fort Wayne, IN
Christiansen Group Realty

Funny post!  We've had this happen before and the first few times really stung.  Any time after that (because it does happen) has been a learning experience for us.  Most could have been prevented, but not all.  We just focus on our business and keep looking for the next client.  

Feb 22, 2018 03:37 PM #79
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Amanda Christiansen, I agree. Success is the best revenge.

Feb 22, 2018 03:42 PM #80
Ambassador
1,552,187
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

You never fail to deliver, Gwen. Love this fantasy scenario you and your buddy dreamed up. I'm laughing and laughing and thinking of trying out some of these on a client I know...oh wait, that's not nice. ;) 

Feb 22, 2018 04:44 PM #81
Ambassador
3,550,975
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude - Carlsbad

This was such fun, Gwen - your creativity is impressive. Love the satire, and a little bit of truth behind it.

Jeff

Feb 23, 2018 07:20 AM #82
Rainmaker
968,196
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

The turncoat - ah yes - this is tremendously funny if only because we ALL know what you are talking about! It hurts like hell and only revenge will do - if only . . .

Feb 23, 2018 07:22 AM #83
Ambassador
618,135
Paul McFadden
Paratex - Seattle, WA
Pest Control, Seattle, WA.

I think turning the other cheek is wise here as hard as that may be.

Feb 23, 2018 08:39 AM #84
Rainmaker
653,157
Nick & Trudy Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Gwen, loved it, brought a big smile to my face, especially after one of our clients this week told us they were listing with a hybrid real estate agency as the total commission was only going to be 2% and they were going to save so much. It just wasn't worth arguing because they just don't get why hiring a professional agent is worth the investment.

Feb 23, 2018 12:01 PM #85
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Debb Janes, thank you for my Friday laughs!

Feb 23, 2018 12:22 PM #86
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jeff Dowler, comedy comes from truth and pain, right? And there is definitely some pain in our business! 

Feb 23, 2018 12:23 PM #87
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Margaret Goss, it sure is fun to fantasize sometimes, right?

Feb 23, 2018 12:24 PM #88
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Paul McFadden, that is always wise. I find that most people create their own rewards and punishments.

Feb 23, 2018 12:25 PM #89
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Nick and Trudy Vandekar, I am so sorry that happened to you. We agents are up against this all the time. I always tell clients who ask me to cut my commission, "I don't discount my commission, because I do not give discounted service." 

Feb 23, 2018 12:27 PM #90
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

PS Nick and Trudy - I just heard from a colleague today that the same happened to them several months ago. Their ex-client is now suing the agent they used!!! 

Feb 23, 2018 12:29 PM #91
Rainmaker
1,755,110
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

My, but aren't we the feisty one!  I like feisty.  Trust me, nobody messes with my wife.

I have been accused of being a bull dog.  But never a hood ornament.

Maybe that's a position I should reconsider!

Now wouldn't that look great on my car!  Or my logo!

Feb 27, 2018 02:21 AM #92
Rainmaker
331,082
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay Markanich, if you were a hood ornament, it would have to be on a Rolls!

Feb 27, 2018 07:39 AM #93
Rainmaker
1,755,110
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Thank you, ma'am.  Rolling a Rolls through the hood might get some attention!

Feb 27, 2018 03:16 PM #94
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