Why Realtors® Avoid Their Sphere of Influence

Services for Real Estate Pros with www.PrinterBees.com BRE# 01392374

Do you work harder at marketing to strangers than to your own friends and family? You’re certainly not alone. However, your sphere of influence can be a tremendous source of referrals and clients. By sharing your services with those who already know, like, and trust you, you can gain new business faster.

Here are some common concerns Realtors® have with their sphere of influence, and how you can overcome them.

The “No” Hurts More

No one likes being told “No,” when they offer their services. When that “No,” comes from someone you know and love, it’s even worse. We don’t offer our services to those we’re closest to because we don’t want to feel rejected by them. Being rejected by a stranger is easier to brush off.

To overcome this, change the story you tell yourself about what “No,” means. Many of us use this story:

“If she tells me no it means that she doesn’t really believe in me as a Realtor®. She doesn’t support my business. She probably thinks I’m no good at it and that I’m destined to fail.”

Try shifting your perspective to think of it this way:

“If she tells me no it simply means she’s not buying right now or I’m not the right fit for her. That’s it.”

Not everyone wants to work with their best buddy in a major business deal. Many people know more than one Realtor® and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. The bottom line is, you can change the story you tell so that a “No,” isn’t personal, no matter who it comes from.

And of course, just because someone tells you “No,” doesn’t mean they won’t refer someone else to work with you!

You Don’t Want to Be a Pest

Many Realtors® are afraid that their friends and family will get tired of their enthusiasm for real estate. You don’t want people to avoid your calls, ignore your texts, or stop spending time with you. While I can see that happening if you only discuss business, it’s not likely if you simply discuss business along with other parts of your life.

Remember why you got into the real estate business. You want to help people buy and sell homes, and that means talking about your work and letting them know you’re available! Your friends and family should be able to reap the benefits of knowing someone in the real estate business, so don’t be shy!

Of course, if you’re desperate for business or pushy, you’ll come off badly no matter who you’re talking to. Don’t be needy or aggressive. Just talk about business as one part of your life!

You Forget About Referrals

Too many people see their sphere of influence only in terms of “possible clients.” It’s easy to forget that one of the biggest services someone can do is refer you to a person who wants to buy or sell a home.

Your friends and family members are not likely to be moving every year. However, they almost certainly know at least one person a year who is looking to buy or sell a home. Encourage your sphere of influence to share your information with someone who is thinking about moving. By making it low-pressure and easy for them to refer, you’ll gain a lot of valuable clients.

Take Care of Your Sphere

Your sphere of influence means a lot to you, and you mean a lot to them. Send them mailings and freebies occasionally, and keep up with being a good friend or family member. Show them you care, show them your passion and expertise for real estate, and be genuine. Your professionalism and thoughtfulness will shine through, and you’ll gain referrals and business as a result!


Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Real Estate Sales and Marketing
Real Estate Rookie
Marketing 101
lead generation
sphere of influence

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Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

I really do need to be more consistent about keeping in touch with my sphere..

Jul 02, 2017 03:15 AM #38
Dorie Dillard
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.346.1799 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Nadine Larder ,

I'm so glad to see this post featured..really excellent advice! No one likes a pest  but it's important to let them know you care they can be a great source of business!

Jul 02, 2017 04:30 AM #39
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

If one learns to become inviting & approachable many opportunities will present themselves. 

Jul 02, 2017 06:39 AM #40
Barbara Calwhite
Keller Williams Realty of Southwest Missouri - Joplin, MO
417-438-7387 Specializing in Relocation

Great advice for your sphere.  It also needs to be kept up to date..  I seem to have trouble with that.

They say you should get 20% of your business from your sphere.  I am certainly doing something wrong.  Am currently working on updating!!





Jul 02, 2017 09:07 AM #41
Raymond Henson
Hybrid Brokers Realty - Elk Grove, CA

When you take care of your sphere (friends), they take care of you.  Plus, I just enjoy working with people I like.  Thank you for the great post.

Jul 02, 2017 10:51 AM #42
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude - Carlsbad

Hi Nadine

I think it IS easy to forget the value our sphere offers. And they need reminders about us being in the business - people forget or don't think about making a referral when they could.


Jul 02, 2017 10:59 AM #43
Nancy Middleton
Counselor Realty, Inc. - Excelsior, MN
Nancy Middleton, Counselor Realty, Minnetonka, MN

I loved your article and the value of working with sphere of influence friends and relatives. For me, it's all about building and maintaining relationships that are honest , helpful and valuable to all concerned.

Jul 02, 2017 11:37 AM #44
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

Often embarrasement.  Most friends or acquintances will forget that you are in real estate business if not often reminded,

Jul 02, 2017 09:07 PM #45
Stavrula "Sam" Crafa, RNC,GRI, CDPE, PSA
Future Home Realty - Seminole, FL
Providing the integrity and service you deserve.

Must keep yourself top of mind even with relatives and close friends. What ever way works for you, keep doing it and don't assume they will pick you. Great advise and reminders for us all. 

Jul 03, 2017 06:30 AM #46
Luke Acree
ReminderMedia - King of Prussia, PA
Making Agents Memorable

Never work with a client you know you're not the right fit for. Instead, point them in the direction of someone who can meet all their needs. This sacrifice will probably result in a referral later down the line.

Jul 03, 2017 09:16 AM #47
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Specializing in Brookside, Waldo, Prairie Village

I agree--the 'no' can hurt. Especially if the potential client ghosts you.  Often it is just the fit isn't right or the other agent may have promised more.  REcently had that happen--the other agent said he would pay for staging the vacant home with furniture at his cost.  So she went with him.  However,  The house is now listed--no staging has been done. 

Jul 04, 2017 09:08 AM #48
Bruce Kunz
C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100 - Howell, NJ
REALTOR®, Brick & Howell NJ Homes for Sale

This is a great wake-up call for some of us Nadine Larder. I understand your points and need to start keeping my sphere more in mind (as well as me in theirs!).

Thanks for sharing.


Jul 04, 2017 09:19 AM #49
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Nadine Larder - once we provide them the value, it is easier to ask for referrals.

Jul 04, 2017 10:49 PM #50
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker and Attorney Licensed in DC, MD, VA,

Great reminder that our sphere can be good for referrals. We have to come from contribution first

Jul 05, 2017 03:40 AM #51
Christopher Pagli
William Raveis Legends Realty Group - Tarrytown, NY
"I Stay Open Until You Close"

One of the biggest mistakes people make is not researching and building relationships with their audience.  Our sphere of influence is the most important place to focus our attention.  Rather than talking at them we need to speak with them and nurture the relationship.

Jul 05, 2017 01:45 PM #52
Elva Branson-Lee
Solid Source Realty GA - Atlanta, GA
CDPE - Atlanta Real Estate & Short Sale Agent

I am finally getting more comfortable reaching out to people I already knew, however I never do want to be a pest. An occasional reminder "touch" works best for me.

Jul 05, 2017 02:26 PM #53
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Excellent advice. Your words of wisdom are spot on as I always have that mindset, they'll get tired of me....   I started coming up with new and different things to talk about or points of interest so it's something of value to them. That makes me feel a lot better about calling and they appreciate the information. 

Jul 06, 2017 10:48 AM #54
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • Green • GRI • HAFA • PSC Los Angeles CA

I would never ignore such a great opportunity. It costs nothing to call your friends, family, and people in your sphere of influence to ask for business, go door knocking to introduce yourself to neighbors, or attend local professional networking events. 

Feb 07, 2018 10:46 PM #55
Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
BVO Luxury Group @ Keller Williams Arizona Realty - Scottsdale, AZ
Serving Scottsdale, Phoenix and Maricopa County AZ

Nadine Larder "...your sphere of influence can be a tremendous source of referrals and clients. By sharing your services with those who already know, like, and trust you, you can gain new business faster."

Right on target - and - re-blog!

May 17, 2018 05:20 AM #56
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
Keller Williams 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce - Short Sale

It would never have occurred to us to "avoid' our sphere...an integral part of our touches in our marketing program.

May 17, 2018 08:04 AM #57
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Nadine Larder

Real Estate Marketing Expert/PrinterBees Founder
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