The Grab Bag - Laugh A Little

Real Estate Broker/Owner with New Paradigm Partners LLC EB #1326335

Here it is Sunday again, and I can't bring myself to inflict yet another market report on the masses yearning for a bit of weekend diversion. Weird Twitter - along with most of the rest of the internet - is still pretty much broken by politics, but I have spared no effort in digging up a few good non-political tweets for your reading pleasure.


Please enjoy these responsibly.



Spaceman: So. This is space. The final frontier.

Double Spaceman: So. This is space. The final frontier.

— @G_Faylor



REAL ESTATE AGENT: so there are great schools in this neighborhood

ME: checking restaurants in the delivery area on my phone sorry what?

— @markydoodoo



First they came for the mime artists, and I said something, because I didn't want them to think I was also a mime artist.

— @ItsAndyRyan



[ad for texting your ex]
Ever think that spoiled milk you threw out last year is magically good again?

— @InternetHippo



Telling a child that they were adopted is the hardest thing about being a party clown

— @Cpin42



You can’t have it all, spoiled millennials. If you want to buy a house you’ll need to (checks the economy) move to Wyoming and stop eating

— @InternetHippo



Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower.

— @TragicAllyHere



I've created a toilet paper roll dispenser that's mounted 6 ft high on the bathroom wall for ppl who live with kittens.

— @JohnFugelsang



Being old is great because your arm will randomly start twitching or whatever & you’re like “well this is how life is now i guess”

— @InternetHippo


And for dessert, a cartoon from the incomparable David Malki at


Wondermark by David Malki

Posted by
Mary & Dick

Mary & Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC
2601 S. Lemay Ave. #41
Fort Collins, CO 80525


Data Source: IRES MLS


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Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

As always, you make me laugh out loud, although I must admit I am a cauliflower addict and won't apologize for it.  I also love kale, daggone it!

My fave, though? First they came for the mime artists, and I said something, because I didn't want them to think I was also a mime artist.

— @ItsAndyRyan

Jun 11, 2017 10:10 AM #2
Hannah Williams
Re/Max Eastern inc. - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-953-8818

I like mashed cauliflower  Dick Greenberg  for some reason toilet paper holds no interest to my cat    Have a great Sunday

Jun 11, 2017 10:11 AM #3
Anna Banana Kruchten,CRS,CRB,GRI
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana of Real Estate!

We have a friend who made fake mashed potatoes - yuck!

Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower.

Jun 11, 2017 10:30 AM #4
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Ahhh Dick- so happy to see the Grab Bag back. I must agree about the whole cauliflower thing. I don't care if you put melted cheese on it, it's still cauliflower. Yuck!

Jun 11, 2017 10:31 AM #5
John Pusa
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Crest - Glendale, CA
Your All Time Realtor With Exceptional Service

Hello Dick Greenberg thanks for the morning laugh.

Jun 11, 2017 10:39 AM #6
Belinda Spillman
Aspen Lane Real Estate Colorful Colorado - Aurora, CO
Colorado Living!

Thanks for some Sunday FUN.  Laughing is a good way to end the week.

Jun 11, 2017 10:51 AM #7
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of Manchester NH's Leading Agents

Thanks for the sunday chuckles Dick Greenberg , hope you had a good weekend

Jun 11, 2017 11:43 AM #8
Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Thoe were great as usual Dick. Thanks for speading a little laughter today 

Jun 11, 2017 01:07 PM #9
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Dick my friend you got an odd sense of humor, but I did like this one:

First they came for the mime artists, and I said something, because I didn't want them to think I was also a mime artist.

— @ItsAndyRyan

Jun 11, 2017 03:14 PM #10
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

you apparently follow better people than me on twitter.  ugh at the politics!

Thanks for the giggles and I have cats and I'm pretty sure they could get to the TP on the ceiling. LOL

Jun 11, 2017 08:09 PM #11
Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

I can fully relate to putting the toilet paper out of the reach of the kittens.  I no longer keep toilet paper on the roller.  It's stacked on the window sill nearby to keep it out of reach!  

Jun 11, 2017 08:49 PM #12
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Dick - your grab bag is always fun and full of surprises.

Jun 12, 2017 08:11 AM #13
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Northern VA

I was wondering what the punchline in that cartoon was going to be.  Very cute.

Jun 12, 2017 12:14 PM #14
Ruth Vogt
Fairway Independent Mortgage, LLS. Equal Housing Opportunity. Regulated by the Division of Real Estate. - Colorado Springs, CO
719-592-0855 Apply 24/7

Haha! This is one late Sunday post that's still refreshing on a Monday! Thanks for the chuckle!

Jun 12, 2017 12:29 PM #15
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Dick, 

I like the toilet roll dispenser!  Nice!! 

Jun 12, 2017 01:01 PM #16
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Dick I have been having a Grab bag withdrawal, it felt like it has been a month since you provided us with some fun and joy... between your market reports and the photo up-loader not working... it has been a tough week...Thanks for finally providing what the masses have been waiting for....Endre

Jun 12, 2017 11:30 PM #17
Elva Branson-Lee
Solid Source Realty GA - Atlanta, GA
CDPE - Atlanta Real Estate & Short Sale Agent

Great stuff, Dick. I just finished writing two market reports and really needed the giggle break. Thanks.

Jun 15, 2017 03:35 PM #18
Pat Starnes, Brandon, MS
Front Gate Real Estate - Brandon, MS
Broker Associate, ABR, 601-278-4513

I didn't get one or two, but the ones I got made me laugh, I guess because I can relate to several. Hope the move is going well.

Jun 16, 2017 08:05 AM #19
Jeff Dowler
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude - Carlsbad

Hi Dick

I'm sorry I missed these before but glad to have found them today. Brought a smile to my face several times!


Jun 17, 2017 02:09 PM #20
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
Keller Williams 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce - Short Sale

We had a kitten who "punished" us when he felt our absences were too lengthy with the roll of tp strewn thru every room in the house....!

Jul 11, 2017 02:47 AM #21
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Dick Greenberg

Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate
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